Exodus

by fortytwo6x7

 

 

twenty five years

living to appease

when i would rather die on my feet

than live on my knees

i did twenty five years

living to appease

well i ate up all your shit

now I’m coming back for cheese

you thought i lived in fear

that was not really true

the only thing that i feared

was leaving my two kids with you 

twenty five years 

i was just a human shield

between your temper and them

and i just refused to yield

you thought you knew it all

can you not see

not for one second

did you ever know me

you thought you had control

you thought you were smart

you never thought they would grow up

and then you and i would part

you thought you were top cat

you thought i was just a mouse

lets see who squeaks loudest

when i sell the jotann house        (1)jotann

you thought i was soft

but what you did not know

was the softest thing about me

is my right elbow

you have the kids thinking

its all my fault

but it was you the police came to

with allegations of assault

twenty five years

on the front line

i would do it all again

to protect a child of mine

twenty five years of war

that you could never win

you may have caused some scars

but i will never give in

twenty five years

you pushed me so far

but don’t worry hun

i still got my r&r

chicken or the egg

is that what they say

well the first time you hit me

was on our wedding day

i knew you would never

just let me go

but i know how the Israelites

escaped from pharaoh

getting out was easy

i knew what to do

because i have been studying

my good friend Sun Tzu

you would not let me leave

of that there`s no doubt

so i just pushed your buttons

and made you cast me out

it was not even

adultery

for that you need a wife

and you were never that to me

twenty five years

you gave me hell

you were just a guard

and my home a prison cell

i was just a slave

it is plain to see

there are people in North Korea

that have got more rights than me

I’m really not trying

to be obtuse

but the term for what you did

is domestic abuse

you screamed out your orders

all night and all day

I’m divorcing for abuse

what have you to say

 

tic

                tock

tic

                tock

 

after twenty five years

i am enjoying the silence

i may even get used

to the absence of violence

 

tick

                 tock

tick

                  tock

 

 

I’m waiting

 

tic

                toc

tic

                toc

 

i take it this silence

means you know you are in the wrong

and if you know that now

you must have known all along

you thought you were better

you thought i was beet

well take a good look

because I’m still on my feet

it really dose not matter

what you try to do 

because i am indestructible

i am the machine Forty Two

 

 

 

  1. jotann : jotann is a word for all of your life
  2.              used to describe your joy and strife

                             For full definition see the poem Jotann 

Author notes

National Poem Writing Month (April)

19th April 2013

 

 

 

If they ever read this, I would say to my children, i love you both very much and i miss you every second of every day. I know that you are hurting and i hope that some day you will understand that i made every decision with you in mind, and i did the best i could for you every day of my life. It was important i stayed this long, your mother needs a “victim” and i was not prepared to let that be either of you. Now you are adults, it is important that i go now, i need to prove it is possible to stand up to the tyrant. I hope you understand this at some stage, I hope you come back to me.  

You will always be my children.

 

To my ex wife, i would say

 

GET SOME HELP !  

 

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