Deja Vu

by fortytwo6x7

 As I begin 2014 and assess my goals for this year, selling my house, gaining financial stability, changing my car and gaining independent living are top of the list. All of these items are interlinked and dependent upon selling the house I pay a mortgage for and my Ex Abuser lives in. The other thing they have in common is they are the exact set of goals I started 2013 with. This would indicate I have made little progress in the past year however things are never as simple as they seem. When weighing up the progress, or lack there of I must consider the relevant factors. I am not responsible for the housing market, and that has played its part in the charade. The obstacles regarding overpricing and misrepresenting the house have been dealt with and had it not been for the Estate Agent failing to get some basics in paperwork or communication right, the house would be sold by now. I am now in a position where the house is agreed for sale (yet again) and the Estate Agent is working hard as he has found my constant phone calls are better when he has progress to report. Touch wood, it is actually going to sell this time. 


Simply saying “same shit different year” would however, not be a accurate reflection on last years events and this years goals. It would also mean repeating the court case that I attended due to my Ex Abuser canceling my car insurance without my knowledge. It would also omit some very noteworthy events, things that I would not have put on my list of goals in January 2013 as I would not have dared to dream those successes. In the last quarter of the year a torrent of events seemed to slot into place, as did the smile on my face and some personal pride as I look back. I came out of conselling, which in its self was a large step. I then took another step towards society when I attended my first open mic night. I stuttered and stumbled through a few poems and learnt a valuable lesson. Practice is essential ! I returned to Pure Poetry for the December open mic and did somewhat better, reciting four poems with not a piece of paper in sight. That is a giant leap of process. However, what I learnt in the November event was to pay a much more significant dividend. I somehow found myself involved with the Northern Ireland Human Rights Commission and secured a 30 second slot on there Video for Human Rights Day. It was the experience of stuttering through poems a few weeks before that caused me to turn up for the video shoot prepared and I believe I made as big a impact as was possible in the time frame and am delighted to have put the issues of Male Victims of Domestic Abuse and adequate provision of services into a area people are not expecting it. 


I can only conclude the year was indeed a success, I fully expect the goals from house sale to independent living will happen this year. What is unknown is what I can add to this. One thing I have come to realise is that in order to achieve anything more than independent living is going to require effort, on a scale above the level of this year. I have a few things I would like to achieve, some travel ranking high on the list. The others I will keep locked up in my head, not for fear of failure, for a better reason. I could not have guessed the Human Rights Video last year, and plans have a way of locking you into a course of action to the point you may miss a target of opportunity. Therefore I am sticking with the improbability drive, it seems to be working well so far. 


I look forward to sharing 2014 with you all, I have a feeling it is going to be a good year. I wish you all health, happiness and progress for the year ahead. Good luck ! 


My final tip for the year is work hard for what you want to achieve, you can do it. if at any time you feel like giving up, just remember how manny arseholes you have to prove wrong. That always works for me. 



Forty Two