The Toilet Seat Conundrum
The toilet seat has a hinge. That is a fact. It takes around a second to put it up or down, that also is a fact. There is no difference in effort whatsoever between putting it up or down. That is a fact. There are no official statistics to look up but there is enough public awareness to know that men leaving the toilet seat up is a huge problem for a hell of a lot of women. It is a common complaint that transcends class and culture. Let us examine is this really a problem, and what that would say about equality, or is it simply a excuse for a argument ?
A recognised definition of equality is : A state of being equal, especially in status, rights, opportunities and responsibilities.
If we are truly living in a equal state, each person should have the the same level of responsibility to put the toilet seat to the correct position. We have already looked at the level of effort required to change the seat position and found that also is equal. It should be a open or closed case, as it were. So why the varied reaction from three groups of people about the position of the toilet seat ?
Yes, I said three. Group 1, men, in general they adjust the seat to required position, use the toilet, wash hands and get on with their life. Group 2, some women, they adjust the seat, use the toilet, wash their hands and get on with their life. Group 3, some women see the seat in wrong position (is there a wrong as opposed to currant position) scream at the top of their lungs, foam at the mouth and demand their partner put the seat to the correct position. This reaction might not occur at the beginning of a relationship, but if it starts with complaints about the toilet seat, believe me, thats where it’s going. You can also expect your name on the underside of the seat in black marker with instructions to put it down or the lid down with house plants set on top of it. At least that was my experience. So what is really going on.
It’s about control, nothing more nothing less. If your partner is bat shit crazy enough to make a full scale argument similar to when you give her crabs about the toilet seat, then the position of the seat is not your biggest problem. These people will also complain about the shade of their tea/coffee, the placement of towels, a floor mat being a millimetre off straight and how you park your car. It matters not what way you preform any of these or any other task, when she wants to scream or lash out at you she will, and will find a excuse to do so. I truly is hard to find genuine fault with your partner on a daily basis. It becomes more so in a long term relationship when your partner has been effectively trained and knows the things you like “just so”. The better a victim of abuse gets at doing things perfectly, the more diverse the tasks that can be done wrong become. This abnormal reaction to normal situations creates fear, and fear creates control.
Breathing correctly will make it onto the list of faults. As will eating, opening and closing drawers. Anything that can be subjective will be a cause for a argument. Do not be fooled into believing that you can mould yourself into a prefect being that will keep her happy and stop the temper tantrums. It will not happen.
The problem is not the toilet seat, the invisible fluff on the carpet you hovered for a hour, the unnoticeable smear in the mirror you cleaned. The possessed woman screaming and throwing things manifested because she was due a outburst, and she would have found a “reason” for it no matter how perfect you are.
My conclusion is simple. The whole toilet seat thing is a clue, use it. If, at the beginning of a relationship your new lover has a toxic reaction to toilet seat position, or other things like being 2 minutes late or the word “no”, realise you have found crazy and get out while you can. Nothing good can come from it. Trust me on this, you are worth more than that. We all are.