A Letter to My Ex Abuser

A letter to my ex abuser

One glance of your face
was all I ever needed to understand your mood
that is a special ability
granted to everyone who lives with a sociopath
therefore when our eyes met for seconds
before you turned your face away
I saw everything

Anger, hate, pain and loathing
encompassed in a facial expression
last seen on a bulldog
chewing a wasp

I also knew the ramifications of that look
insults will be hurled
along with crockery
or anything else within reaching distance
something had displeased you
so someone must pay

However I absorbed that information walking
and laughing
my thoughts were
if he has not met the real you yet
he will tonight

I remembered you screaming at me
that without you
I would become a lonely alcoholic
I squeezed my girlfriend’s hand and said
“we just walked past the witch”

I know the source of your displeasure
from looks alone you could not ascertain
her kindness and compassion
her courage integrity and dignity
are qualities you could never recognise
even if they were written in a speech bubble
that floated above a person

However anyone with eyes to see
could accurately describe the different character traits
by looking at both your faces
the beauty and the beast

What you never considered
was keeping everyone around you stressed
was also stressful on yourself
that has consequences
you look twenty years older than you are
and she is fifteen years younger than you
and beautiful
I guess you don’t like those apples

she also has no need
to manipulate or threaten me to stay
because I only feel complete by her side

I really should thank you
because just as living in the valley
makes the view from the summit more stunning
having lived with you
makes me realise how special she is
and to clarify
I was not laughing at you
that was spontaneous laughter
from the joy of a good life

One last thing
since you made everything about us competition
because cooperation is something you don’t understand
I am calling this
game over bitch
I win


Forty Two

© Forty Two 2017, all rights reserved


Author Notes

Domestic Abuse is not gendered. The only indicator to becoming abused, is becoming entrapped by a cruel person, and cruel people come in both genders. As do people that come out the other side better than they went in. To the abusers out there, I hope seeing your former victims thrive gives you hell