fortytwowrites

The world through the eyes of a male domestic abuse victim, but its so much more than that !

The Walking Dead

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He stood alone in the dock

he was told

the charges against him

he was precluded from challenging

the slander that masqueraded as evidence

he was there to be judged

not participate

 

When the secrete show trial

was concluded

he was not found

guilty or innocent

yet was given

a lifetime sentence

 

Stranger still

he walked away

a free man

 

Free to live

however he chose

provided those choices

did not include

seeing his children

he was however

mandated to provide

financial support

but precluded

from knowing

how that financial support was utilised

free to be tortured

by a inconsistent flow of information

provided on the whim of his accuser

which was interwoven

with deceit and insults

and imposable to verify

free to grieve

the loss of his children

without the funeral

and graveside

that facilitates the grieving process

burdened with anxiety

fuelled by concern for the welfare

of his waking dead children

 

society seemed surprised

he displays anger

 

Author Notes

Prior to 1839 in English law typically the father would be awarded custody of children at the disillusion of a marriage. The reason for this is the father was best placed to financially provide for the children. Following her divorce Social reformer/suffragette, author, journalist and “society beauty” Caroline Norton created the Tender Years Doctrine where she put forward her opinion children younger than 7 were damaged by separation from their mother. It is unclear what a “society beauty” is and what part that plaid in her divorce, however it would seem it had no negative impact on her parenting skills as she successfully lobbied the male parliamentarians and the Custody of Infants act 1939 was introduced. This act gave mothers custody of children until the age of 7 and fathers financial responsibilities for mother and child. In 1873 the act was extended to give mothers custody and fathers financial responsibility to the age of 16. The Act quickly spread through the British Empire and to the United States and Australia.

In 2016, after 143 years of progress, we are still using a family court system based on the opinion of Caroline Norton. The result is devastation to families, children loosing access to their father and his extended family and fathers being turned into a pay cheque.

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Movember

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Day one

it was smooth

like newborn skin

 

Days two and three

sharp stubble simulated sandpaper

reminding me abnormalities

require examination and understanding

or action

 

By day seven

it is soft, pleasing to the touch

my hand is drawn to my face

exploring the change

 

By day nineteen

it will be a prominent feature

demanding to be noticed

as will the events

of International Mens Day

 

On day thirty one

it will be cut down

and again my features

will change dramatically

 

Individually, it means little

but there are many

completing this transformation

the millions of moustaches

causing millions more

men and women to donate

that make thousands

of projects posable

the trillion conversations

that rase awareness

creates

the changing face

of mens health

 

Author Notes

The Movember Foundation is dedicated to tackling Men’s Health on a global scale. There fundraising peeks during Movember when men seek sponsorship for growing moustaches. The the change in physical appearance representing the changing face of men’s health. November 19th is International Mens Day. A day where men hold events to raise the issues that affect Men and Boys and to celebrate the achievements of Men and Boys.  For more information on the Movember Foundation and International Mens Day see the links below.

http://internationalmensday.co

https://uk.movember.com/about/foundation

The Antidote to Man Flu

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Man flu is not a decease

or a medical condition

but shameful terminology

and psychological attrition

designed to keep men working

and pretend they are not ill

because their health is less important

than the tasks they must fulfil

 

Then the demand that men “man up”

translates to ignore distress or pain

ignore your personal wellbeing

for anther’s personal gain

compounded by the social stigma

should a man dare to complain

or should he show emotion

people react like he’s insane

 

The ratlin and prozac

that the doctors freely give

create controlled existence

and stifle the ability to live

it’s time to end the shame

silence the voices in your head

and the first step is to prescribe

a pill thats coloured red

 

Author Notes

On average, world wide women outlive men by 4 years, women living to 74 and men 70. The highest life expectancy is in Europe and North America where women average 81 years in both continents and men average 75 in Europe and 77 in North America.

By simply changing our attitudes to mens health, we could become the first generation where our son’s live as long as our daughters.

Source : https://www.statista.com/statistics/270861/life-expectancy-by-continent/

Boys are Good

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Misjudged maligned and misunderstood

its time to wake up to the fact boy’s are good

forget the myth of snails and puppy dog tails

and take a look at factual details

they are made of hopes, dreams and determination

an incredibly powerful combination

they excel at tasks requiring concentration

each boy is born with aspiration

to help, to learn and to create

their positivity you can not negate

then look at there actions and you will see

a endless seam of empathy

helping others is what boy’s do naturally

so change is needed I conclude

for the marginalised, maligned and misunderstood

it’s time to wake up to the fact boy’s are good

 

The Death of Childhood

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On his third day in the camp

a new “recruit” arrived

Raheem watched him being pulled from the truck

and presented to the big man

he could not hear what was being said

but he saw the older boys arriving

with sticks

within minutes

the newcomer was unconscious

by volunteering

Raheem had avoided that beating

he, had only been

raped

 

Tomorrow

they would attack the enemy

Raheem had decided

he would be fearless

he would charge the enemy

at the age of fourteen years and three week

he had come to understand

death in combat

was his only chance of escape

 

Author Notes

There are an estimated 250,000 boy soldiers in the world today serving in countries including, but not limited to Afghanistan, Burma, Central African Republic, Chad, Colombia, Democratic Republic of Congo, India, Iraq, Philippines, Somalia, South Sudan, Syria, Thailand and Yemen. As the fighting around Mosul intensifies growing numbers of boy soldiers are being thrown into the front line with a very short life expectancy. Recent reports claim at least 300 ISIS boy soldiers have been killed.

Additionally thousands of girls have been inducted or abducted by military or paramilitary forces. These girls typically are not involved in combat but are utilised as cooks, messengers, spies or companions to fighters. The fact these girls are not sent into combat means they are best defined as slaves. These children, both boys and girls have their family life and education interrupted and face physical, psychological and sexual abuse. They all need rescued.

However if you put “boy soldiers” into a search engine you will find the results lead you to “child soldiers” and organisations that work to prevent children being recruited by army’s or militia. It appears that groups such as Child Soldiers International or War Child have conflated the Boy Soldiers and the Girl Slaves. When it comes to there programs to get “Child Soldiers” out of conflict and back into school, they have rediscovered their ability to to make a distinction. The boys, who have been more severely affected by their exposure to combat, are disbarred due to their gender. My conclusion is that those organisations are not interested in helping child soldiers, but girls, and the world is looking the other way. Male disposability it seems, begins in childhood.

Source’s

https://www.hrw.org/report/2015/12/14/we-can-die-too/recruitment-and-use-child-soldiers-south-sudan

http://www.rawstory.com/exclusives/maria.htm

https://childrenandarmedconflict.un.org/children-not-soldiers/

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/isis-child-soldiers-raped-tortured-by-daesh-disobeying-caliphate-cubs-training-1538826

https://www.child-soldiers.org

http://www.warchild.org.uk/issues/child-soldiers

The Game-Changer

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In year four of primary school

the uniform changed

from shorts to long trousers

and we

the biggest children in the small playground

became the

smallest children in the big playground

 

Culture shock would be a understatement

the boys in year seven

the oldest in the school

were in the ascendancy

the sight and sound

of them charging as a herd

was at first intimidating

to a eight year old

 

By year five

this practice was intriguing

to a nine year old

one stood in the middle

called another to attempt to pass him

if he succeeded

the herd charged

and he that stood alone

attempted to grab one

Those caught

stayed in the middle

the herd dwindled

until one lone charger

made his doomed attempt

 

By year six

a ten year old

was anxious

to be part of the game

pit his whit and strength

against others

the boys, unsurprisingly

wanted to be boisterous

 

In year seven

we formed our lines

we charged as one

our feet sounded like thunder

unbridled joy at reaching safety

was cut short, by a shrill whistle

 

The principle stood tall in the playground

silver hair and pipe in hand

he billowed

this game is banned

then turned on his heel and left

In Belfast, 1977

the way boys played

was designated

wrong

 

Author Notes

In the early seventies feminism began its march through the establishment. One of the first places hit was teacher training. Four years later the newly indoctrinated teachers passed out of training and entered the classrooms. One of the first targets was to change the behaviour of boy’s in the playground. The road to ritalin and ADHD Statements, began with banning boisterous games.

Legalised Mutilation

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The baby shrieked

then took its first breath

the nurses took it from the mother

and placed it on the table

they inspected

anxiously new parents

tried to look through the nurses

and see their first born

minutes became hours

the baby returned

 

Smiling faces

bring a clean baby wrapped in a blanket

placed in mothers arms

congratulations

you have a perfect son

ten fingers

ten toes

everything is fine

we can book him into surgery

in two days time

 

The perfect baby

is no longer perfect

the fear of its fragility

had disappeared in seconds

one third of the skin

on its penis

would be surgically removed

before the child saw “home”

it would scream in a torture chamber

before it left hospital

it is bereft of legal protection

from mutilation

because he is a boy

 

The dehumanisation of males

begins at birth

 

Author Notes

The video link below is audio only, there is nothing to see, but the sound is very hard to listen to. I believe he is saying no.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GHOyzbmlVE

The Wake Up Call

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Your lived reality is a delusion

where friend and foe work in collusion

causing chaos and confusion

into invisible battle you are thrust

knowing not who you can trust

controlled by anger fear and lust

 

Elaborate deceptions render you blind

so critically analyse and you will find

there is a war on for your mind

but beware, you can’t un-see

the revelations of reality

and your own truth will set you free

 

The blue pill simply lets you ignore

a situation you should deplore

while self esteem drops through the floor

the red pill will bring you to reality

which means taking hard choices rationality

can you stomach that eventuality ?

The easy choices rarely end well.

 

“The more we do to you, the less you seem to believe we are doing it”.

Josef Mengele, German SS officer and a physician

in the German Nazi concentration camp Auschwitz-Birkenau

The Unaccountable Censors

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To all of you that tried to kill

the documentary The Red Pill

to stifle, strangle or drown at birth

or cast onto the ends of the earth

the work of which you disapprove

and so you scurried to remove

the peoples choice and free will

to decide to watch The Red Pill

 

I ask you now do you regret

as you witness the Streisand Affect

and the result of the publicity

is that more people will come to see

the hateful words you did proclaim

only to find the MRA’s are sane

and detest your removing your free will

to decide to watch The Red Pill

 

Then comes the sting within the tail

as they examine the detail

and realise your censorship

is a symptom of the crazed power trip

of the feminist ideology

who’s faults become plain to see

with the understanding and free will

that come with taking The Red Pill

 

Author Notes

In 2013 film maker and documenter Cassie Jaye decided to make a documentary about the Mens Rights Movement. As a feminist she fully expected her look into the shadows would reveal the toxic views and violent behaviour she had been told permeate the movement.

However what she found contradicted her preconceived notions and the year of filming and year of post production editing changed her world view. Full discloser, I have not seen the completed film, It has not had a viewing in my country yet and I will write about this film as soon as I get the opportunity to watch it. However I have seen her interviews post release and I know a lot of the people interviewed in the documentary and my conclusions on the film is based on this knowledge.

Since beginning this project Cassie has faced opposition from the Feminist movement, firstly in demanding editorial control in return for funding. She refused this “assistance” the project stalled but was saved by free speech advocates who donated to her kickstarter campaign. Post production Feminists have managed to get the Melbourne showing shut down, and there seem to be problems with the London showing.

At this stage the question cease’s to be the validity of either side’s point of view but should those views be allowed to be heard. It would seem some people have used the book 1984 as a guide, not a warning.

The Social Conference

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The decision to attend the Second International Conference on Men’s Issues was easy. It was being held in London, in July. Thats just a hop across the water, at holiday time. I could get to there, so I would get there. The obvious draw was the list of speakers, the who’s who of the men’s rights movement were to be put on a stage one after another, but as I was to find out, this was a conference where just actually being there outweighed the insights held within the speeches. That is not to undermine insights of the speakers, but a understanding of the reality. Every speech, from the opening by Erin Pizzy to the closing from Paul Ealm will be available on youtube shortly, hence I will not go into those now, but the experience of being there, the thousands of conversations between and after the speeches could only be accessed by being there.

The conference did not contain organised “break out” sessions, there were however twenty minute breaks between speakers that allowed attendees time to mingle over coffee. The speakers were freely available during these times however the conversation rarely centred on their work, and the reasons behind that is entirely rational. We, the attendees had came to hear first hand the voices that we bring to our homes via the internet. When you begin talking to people like Karen Straughan (Girl Writes What) with 129,400 subscribers to her youtube channel or Sage Gerard, the founder of KSU/Zen Men or Lucian Valsian who has a weekly radio show about mens interests in Europe, and therefore have both been bringing forward content for years through various mediums, it quickly becomes clear both parties in that conversation know what they are about. What these people are interested in is what we, the attendees are up to, what brought us to the movement and the conference. This was both logical and surprising. However the interest in what others were doing was a common theme in all the conversations between the attendees. The level of interest shown in others at the conference, was one of the striking features.

The other was what happened at the end of each day. The conference did not so much close for the day as relocate to the bar of the local hotels. As it was held at London’s ExCel Centre which is quite out of the way both speakers and attendees were scattered across a few hotels. The conversation became slightly less formal (if that was possible !) and people mingled into the night. On the evening before the conference I met another attendee, Luke, who has became a friend for life over the space of the conference. We were walking into the hotel and the whole AVFM team were having dinner. We were remarking how surreal the situation was. It is rare in life people have such close access to people you normally only access through the content they provide. It is akin to a back stage pass with the Rolling Stones/Black Sabbath/The Who (delete as appropriate or insert your own). A small hour later everyone was chatting as equals. There are two main reasons for that transformation.

As another friend I had talked to on line and met up with at the conference, Angelo remarked, the average IQ in the room was well above average. The other reason can be found in Paul Ealm’s speech on the last day. When Paul spoke about the need for men to insist that women step down from the pedestal, that we embrace there equality but not their privilege. To tell them they are valued, but not more so than their brothers, fathers, husbands and sons. Also that women must insist men dismount their white horses, that they must see women as capable and responsible people, it is clear that those sentiments went beyond the male female dynamic.

This movement is about true equality, it is about understanding that people carrying out different roles can be equally valued, that everything we do on a day to day basis is important, and there is a real difference between the words “different” and “lesser”. The top table of the Mens Rights Movement are leading from the front on this. They have not only stepped off any pedestal that they may have been placed upon, but taken sledge hammer to that pedestal. Yes, I/we fully respect the people who are at the top of the movement and stand on the stage. We admire them and draw inspiration from them, but we do not “Look up” to them. We look them in the eye, as they do us, to do otherwise would be both unwanted and disrespectful.